


But In Dreams

by footsieinthegarden



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Magic, Post-War, Princess Catra (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/footsieinthegarden/pseuds/footsieinthegarden
Summary: “I liked the dress you’re going to wear.”Adora wasn't the only one who transformed at the Heart. Catra leans on her girlfriend and friends to work through it.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101





	But In Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> My first She-ra fic! My research for this consisted of bingeing the series with my girlfriend and scrolling the Catradora tag on Tumblr for hours, so this might be totally go against She-ra lore. But I was fascinated by That Scene (and not just for the main reason we were all fascinated) and wanted to explore it. 
> 
> Shout-out to my friend FMKitsune for beta-ing this for me!

Adora retracted her shield and flopped against her pillow. She tried to look at Catra, but she was still too blinded from the flash of magical light to actually see. “Wrong spot, dummy.” Catra rolled away, taking a blanket with her. Adora squawked and patted the spot Catra had only just vacated. She slowly advanced until she found Catra’s shoulders and then quickly curled up against her.

“My eyes aren’t that bad in the dark, dummy.” 

Catra snorted. “Could’ve fooled me, princess.”

“Well, you’re practically an honorary princess. So – so you’re like – fooling yourself.”

“Adora, you’re an idiot.”

“Hey, I’m tired and it’s the middle of the night, OK, I’m trying my best.” Adora shifted and softened, lifting one hand to trace the rough scar on the back of Catra’s neck. “Another bad dream?”

Catra shifted and waited to answer until she heard Adora take a breath to pester her again. “Sure, something like that.”

“Wait, Catra, what do you mean? Something like that? Was it not a dream? It can’t be a vision though, can it? Should I get someone? I should get someone. I’ll get Glimmer. No, you’re right, I’ll get Micah instead. I thought Horde Prime should be gone, but I still don’t really know anything about magic, if he is somehow still getting into your head, I must have done something wrong, I need-”

Catra sat up. “Adora, slow down for one second.”

Adora stood up from where she had put on one boot on the wrong foot. She took a deep breath. “OK, that was one second,” she said, her voice muffled as she scrabbled around under the bed for her other boot. 

“No, Adora, I mean just – stop.” By some miracle, Adora did. “I never said it was a vision.”

Adora hopped back over to the bed. “You said it wasn’t a bad dream, though.” 

“Yeah, because maybe it – it wasn’t bad?” Catra wrapped her tail around her waist and started purring, a low rumble just loud enough for Adora to hear.

“Oh.” Adora stared at her, able to make eye contact this time. “Oh, that’s good. Yeah, that’s much better.” She looked down at her feet. “I’ll just take this off now.” 

As she bent over, Catra asked, “Were you really going to run out and wake up Glimmer’s dad and, let’s be real, most of Bright Moon like that?” 

Adora turned back, her head tilted, hair cascading down her back. “Well, yeah, I guess so. Why?”

“You really are an idiot, Adora. You’re not even wearing a bra.”

Adora looked down, shocked at this revelation, as if she didn’t sleep like this every night. She folded her arms over her breasts and sat up straighter. “Yes,” she said primly, and then they both broke into giggles. Catra would never confess to having started it, but Adora did finally climb back into their bed to lay with her. That was still such a concept: their bed, their room, their comfort - shared with each other without fear of reprobation. 

“You’re still purring,” Adora very astutely noted after they had kissed and then laid hand-in-hand for a few minutes. 

“Wow, better slow down, Adora, or you’ll be the next Mer-Mystery star.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Catra released Adora’s hand and rolled to her side. “No! No,” she repeated more softly. “Not right now.” She sniffed, and it turned into a sigh when Adora rolled to spoon her. 

As it turned out, Catra still didn’t want to talk about it when morning came and she had sat down to breakfast with Scorpia. The princess was ostensibly studying a row of little cups on their platter, not that Catra blamed her, because even with Entrapta’s typed card labeling them as “quiche,” she still had no idea what they were supposed to be. 

“What’s bothering you, Wildcat?” Catra did the thing she was supposed to do and took a deep breath instead of snapping. 

“Scorpia-” She searched for the right words as her companion tentatively poked a pincer into one of the quiches. “What was-” She stopped when Scorpia looked up at her. “Are you excited to host Princess Prom?” she asked quickly. 

Scorpira lit up, eyes wide as her pincers framed her face. “Yes. Oh, it’s supposed to be a surprise, but I know you won’t tell anyone, will you? Great. Perfuma convinced me to sing a few songs as part of the festivities. Do you have any idea how many songs there are?” She lifted one of the quiches to her mouth and chewed thoughtfully, talking around it. “Like I thought this was a whole lot, but how about music? I know I have to pick, but there’s just so much, you know? Swift Wind and Sea Hawk have been really great helping me try some out and practice and everything, but I still have to choose, and geez, how do I do that? I mean, really.” She had started munching on a string of quiches while she rambled on, so Catra finally picked one up and took a delicate bite. 

It was good. Even if there was a little green stuff in it, it was infinitely better than the “kale chips” Perfuma had insisted they try the week before. Even Entrapta’s tiny versions had been too much. Quiche though, she thought she could easily eat an entire regular-sized one, even if she didn’t know how big that would be. 

“-and Emily has been doing a lot of the clean-up. It’s not like we had time to change a lot of the structures yet, but it looks really different, especially with Perfuma cleaning the smog. Oh, oh no, did I say the wrong thing?”

Catra pushed her ears back up through sheer force of will.

“I’m sorry, Catra, I wasn’t even thinking. I know you grew up there too, I shouldn’t have assumed you would be glad to see it different-”

Catra cackled. “No, Scorpia, it’s not that. Nothing would make me happier than having the whole Fright Zone razed to the ground. I’m sure whatever you did will be an improvement.”

Scorpia set her pincers on the table. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk, Wildcat?” 

“How – how does it feel to be there?” Catra held one bicep with the opposite hand and wrapped her tail around her waist. “With the black garnet, I mean, having that connection.”

Scorpia blinked at the non sequitur but, for once, didn’t comment. “It’s…different. Yeah, it’s different. I guess that was always the place I lived, but it’s different, now that it’s my kingdom, which, wow, what a word, it still feels so weird to say I have a kingdom, but I guess that’s a thing now, but anyway now it’s not just the Fright Zone? It’s a home, and somewhere I can invite people, and somewhere people want to visit.” Catra’s ears flattened again, despite her best attempt to keep them upright. Scorpia fell silent and leaned forward. Catra didn’t look up, but she could feel Scorpia’s warm, open gaze pierce her. 

“I – I guess….” She gulped. “I guess it feels unfair.” She knew the ground was not going to open up and swallow her whole, and she knew Scorpia wasn’t going to laugh or make a cruel remark, but she waited a moment for any of those things to happen, just in case. “We both grew up in the Horde, we both became Force Captains, we both fought for Hordak, but I feel like – like, it’s just so much easier for you. And I know – I know you were always a kind person, and a kind friend, and I wasn’t either of those things, ever, and I know it’s not a competition but, at the same time…. You just reformed your connection with the black garnet and then, boom, magically,” Catra paused to cackle, “that fully redeemed you and no one’s ever questioned your place or your intentions or…you. I mean, I was so little when I came to the Horde I don’t remember anything before it. I had to – well, Shadow Weaver, you know. Don’t I – why can’t I have some of that understanding too? I’m supposed to be working on my own empathy, but I feel like I can’t get any from anyone else. Which I know isn’t true. If no one really cared, I wouldn’t be living her, wouldn’t be included, wouldn’t be with Adora….”

“Wow, Catra, that is a lot.” Catra flinched when Scorpia stood, shocked she had found the princess’s breaking point, but she was only wrapped up in an impossibly tight hug. “That’s so great you were able to share that with me. I mean, obviously all those feelings aren’t great, I’m not saying they are, but you still talked about it! And you didn’t even yell!” Catra purred for a split second and Scorpia released her. She gasped a little as the princess sat back down. “Now, for once this is actually something they didn’t cover in Force Captain Orientation….” Catra laughed and wiped at her eyes. 

“I wouldn’t say it’s easy. I tell myself I can tackle the challenges no matter what, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges. There’s plenty of shame – why was it my family that surrendered to the Horde? I do have a lot of memories attached to the Fright Zone, and not all of them are bad, but what will people think that I haven’t, as you put it, raze it to the ground and completely rebuild it? And then there’s all the rules for Princess Prom. I just know I’m going to mess them up, and I know it’s not like I’ll stop being a princess or something, but I don’t want to be coddled because I’m the ‘reformed’ princess who just doesn’t know any better.”

“Pity sucks,” Catra concurred.

“But I don’t think it actually is pity, Wildcat. I think it just feels like it is. I think everyone is just excited to have a proper fancy party for the first time since the war ended. I think no one really cares that much about the protocol in the first place and are probably relieved that if I don’t know what I’m doing, that just means they’re not alone if they make a mistake. We can all just laugh together! And have a good time! That’s what everyone keeps telling me that’s what parties are supposed to be about.

“And not to put words in your mouth, but I don’t think people are going to see Force Captain Catra hatching schemes, I don’t think they’re going to dwell on all the bad that’s happened, at least not for an evening. I think they’re going to see someone who was instrumental in saving their planet, the whole entire universe in fact, having a nice time with her girlfriend.” Scorpia’s pincers were inching dangerously close to her face.

“Ugh, Adora and I are not that cute!” Catra looked down. “But…thank you, Scorpia. You’re a good friend. And – I’m glad we can be friends, for real this time. I think.” Catra looked up, but was only met with another bone-crushing hug.

“You’ve come so far, Wildcat!” Catra tried not to puff up as Scorpia tousled her hair with a pincer.

She had wandered through several of Bright Moon’s endless hallways before she had tamed it all back into place. She was sorely tempted to cut it all off again rather than wait until it grew out enough to put up but…no, that wasn’t an option. She stopped in a patch of sunlight and leapt up to the high windowsill. She didn’t want to go down this road yet. But even if it hadn’t necessarily felt good to unburden herself to Scorpia, it was a relief. How much better would it feel to do that with Adora? Adora, who had seen Catra at her very worst, had been hurt by her at her very worst, and still loved her, still thought she mattered. And for as dumb as Adora was, she did have a lot of good ideas.

Catra leapt down and loped along all fours, noiselessly, before stopping outside the library. She opened the door a crack, and then slipped in when she saw Micah was indeed the only occupant. She bounded on to the table in front of him in one leap, scattering both his scrolls and his thoughts. “I have some questions about magic,” she said, before he could regain his composure.

“Oh, Catra, hello. I’m Glimmer’s dad.” He gathered the papers Catra had sent flying. “Just trying to catch up on recent events. You know how it is.” 

Catra did not know, so she repeated herself. “I want to know about magic.”

“Well, I will try my best to answer your questions. I did train with the most powerful-” 

Catra yowled and arched her back, fur puffed out as far as it would go. “No! No games! You need to tell me the truth!” Micah stared back with gigantic eyes. Catra took deep breaths until she could force her tail down and her fur to lay flat. She wiped a hand over her face. 

“I’m Glimmer’s dad,” Micah repeated, and it sounded more like a statement of the one fact he was sure of in a stressful situation than a threat. Catra shifted back into a sitting position.

“Yeah, there’s a reason I came to you and not Spar-Glimmer.” She sighed. “Sorry, I’m working on it.”

“I understand. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me to stop talking to myself.”

“Thanks.” Catra rubbed the back of her neck and fingered her scar. “There’s – there’s no way he – Horde Prime,” she forced his name out through gritted teeth, “could still be in my head, right?”

Micah touched the back of his own neck. “Magically, no. He is gone. Even the weakest sorcerer would be able to feel if even a droplet of his essence still lingered in Etheria.” 

“So, if I’m having – visions, it can’t be him?”

“What do you mean by visions? Bad dreams – nightmares?”

“No…no. This one is…it’s different.”

“’This one?’ So there is something in particular that keeps bothering you, then?”

“It’s not bothering me,” Catra almost snapped. Another deep breath. “Sorry. I mean, yes, it’s bothering me in that I keep thinking about it, but not that it’s necessarily bad.”

“I’m sorry, Catra, you’re going to have to be a little more specific if you want me to help you.”

Catra jumped from the table over to a window. The space helped. “How does magic work – how does it work for She-ra?” 

Micah sighed. “That’s an awfully big question, Catra. And one we don’t really have an answer for, I’m afraid. In all honesty, Bow’s dads might be able to help you with that topic more than I can.”

“No, I don’t need a history lesson. I mean – I’m sure they’re…great people.” She started a low rumbling purr. “Can magic – does it let someone give you a vision? Plant something in your head?”

“I don’t want to – if I bring her up, again, will that upset you? I won’t mention her name.”

“Fine, whatever.” 

“I think there’s a reason – she used her magical ability to get into powerful positions where she could manipulate others, but she didn’t actually use her magic to do the manipulation. I think if it were truly possible to give someone a repetitive vision that could bother them to the extent it affected their everyday life, she would’ve been doing that. I think we would know it was possible.”

“I’ve got to go.” Catra went from the window to the door in a single bound. “Uh, thanks, Glimmer’s dad.”

Catra slipped back to her and Adora’s room, soundlessly again. She was going to need all her remaining energy for the third conversation of the day. She would need to take a week off after this, maybe a month. 

Adora was sprawled on the bed, mouth open, in the middle of a nap. Catra jumped to the foot of the bed and curled up. She dozed until Adora stirred.

“Hey, Adora.” Catra didn’t bother to open her own eyes.

“Catra! I didn’t know when to expect you back. I – I, uh, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so I decided to take a nap.”

“Who made you? Perfuma or Sparkles?”

“OK, fine, it was Glimmer, but I think it counts as progress that I listened! Right? That should totally count. But anyways. How was your day?”

Catra thought wistfully of Double Trouble. “Well, speak of the princess, I was talking to Papa Sparkles.” She cracked one eye open. “And don’t worry. I didn’t actually call him that to his face.” 

“Well, that’s something. I wouldn’t want to lose my title.”

“Pretty sure you’re safe on that one, dummy.” Catra rolled to her back, sneaking her tail out to curl around one of Adora’s bare calves. “Adora, what do you remember from the Heart?”

Adora paused and then did a very impressive sit-up and forward fold to gently kiss Catra. Catra blushed, so she rolled her eyes when Adora pulled back. “I think we both remember that part.” She brushed a lock of Adora’s hair back from her face. “What gave you the idea to grow your hair out?”

Adora blinked. “Uh, I don’t know, I guess I thought I should try something different? No one said anything, not to my face, but I think they talked about how I always had the same exact style every day. I guess it was pretty excessive, but it felt normal after the Horde. But, I don’t know, I guess with the war over, it feels like a new era and stuff. And with Princess Prom coming up-” Catra sat up and stared at Adora. “What?” 

“Promise you won’t think I’m crazy?”

“No, Catra, I would never think that.”

Catra swallowed and looked into Adora’s eyes. “I liked the dress you’re going to wear.”

Adora sat up and leaned towards Catra. “You saw it, too, then?” she breathed.

“Yeah.” Catra reflexively grabbed her bicep. “I saw it. Us getting ready.”

“Is that why you’re growing your hair out?”

“Is it – is it bad how much I want it to be real?” She looked away, down at her hands, until Adora grabbed them and gently squeezed.

“I want it too, Catra. I still can’t believe that – we won, that we’re together.” She kissed Catra again before giving her back some space. “What is it?”

Catra lowered her ears. “I’m scared, Adora. And not – not just because I want some stupid vision to come true. But, I don’t know how to explain. I was talking to Scorpia this morning, about her planning for the Princess Prom, and what it feels like to, I don’t know, renovate the Fright Zone. She talked about feeling more at home, and her connection with the black garnet, and how’s it just different. This – this feels different. Maybe that same kind of different.”

“I don’t understand, Catra. What are you trying to say?”

“What else do you remember, Adora? After the vision and – the kiss.” Catra blushed so hard she started to worry she would permanently be the same color as the abominable beets Perfuma had made them try. 

“I felt – love. The purest love, and nothing else. It was like every time I had become She-ra, but times a million, or a million billion. I’m not sure I was having any actual thoughts, when I try to remember, I just get overwhelmed with that feeling.”

“Adora, when we – when you transformed, your light, your glow, it enveloped me too. I think – I think I…got some of it. And I think it’s still there.”

“Catra,” her beloved whispered, and then for a long time their room was quiet except for their soft kisses. When they broke apart, Adora asked, “Is that why you were upset? Did you think I’d be angry?” Catra wanted to move her tail, but Adora was stroking it gently.

“I mean, She-ra is sort of your whole thing.”

“Catra, your love saved me, it saved the world! It saved the universe! No one seems to have any good idea how any of this Sh-ra stuff works, and if that love let you have some of that magic, you deserve it. I want to be with you, in every way. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, even if I was too stupid to know it. If we could’ve – if she hadn’t favored me like that, nothing would’ve made me happier. You’re so strong in ways I’m not, really, and if this helps you remind yourself that we are equally worthy, then I’m so happy it happened. I was scared when I first touched the sword. No one could tell me anything. I don’t want you to go through the same thing.”

“Hey, maybe I want to fight endless spiders too. Did you ever think of that? Would you rob me of that formative experience?”

Adora stared at her and made her face go blank. “Query not recognized.” 

Catra laughed and wiped at her eyes. “Good thing I have administrator access.” Adora snorted but kissed her some more all the same.

“Adora?” Catra whispered as they cuddled up together in the falling dusk.

“Hmm?” 

“What do you think my magic can do?” 

“Mmm, let’s wait and find out in the morning,” she murmured and stroked the smooth fur on the back of Catra’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved the imagery of the scene at the Heart, showing Adora and Catra equally enveloped in the transformation light. I really liked how it depicted that Adora and Catra's love as a mutual, two-way street thing. I also thought a lot about Sam being an official ringbearer in LotR, even though he doesn't literally carry the ring for that long. (Season 5 gave me a ton of LotR vibes in general - the shattered She-ra sword looking like the Shards of Narsil, She-ra bringing nature back in a very Silmarillion-esque way). I'm not sure what the intent really was - maybe they were both in the light because they were, ahem, attached at that moment, and there's nothing more to it, but I wanted to read into it regardless.


End file.
